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magicconchshell:

imagine if you went to go see a horror movie but it was just a slide show of your middle school selfies for an hour

illkim:

*throws $20 bill at stripper* hey can I have the change

blowmeblaine:

blowmeblaine:

blowmeblaine:

the worst thing is when you have crumbs in your bra

also when there are crumbs in your keyboard and the keys wont work right

the two most important things in every girl’s life

the boobs and the laptop

fahrenheit-469:

its 2013 can we please have headphones that last more than 2 months

sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again

lolzpicx:

(Source: mykuhh)

kuroenigma:

echobo:

lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake

(Source: doodoomar)

grampas:

the spectrum of human emotion is so beautiful

aesthetic-dissonance:

sagihairius:

My mom just informed me that my first word was “quote” so I’m going to make sure my last word before I die will be “unquote”

you have been blessed with a rare and epic opportunity

i have such good taste, i whisper to myself as i browse my own blog.

(Source: ryanrreynolds)